Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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