PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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