Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize