Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
