Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
