hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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