Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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