I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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