are you still at the devil's house?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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