I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
