I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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