Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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