Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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