Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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