Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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