I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize