Did you just see the Batmobile???
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
