She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
