i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
