Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
