Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
