1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
