no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
sex in a hospital.. check
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
