I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
