He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
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Do I have a choice?
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"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize