Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize