How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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