at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize