Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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