Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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