i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
