you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
