My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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