i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
