i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
