How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize