I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
sarcasm needs its own font
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize