is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
