I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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