Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
