Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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