Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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