Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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