So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
