I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
