your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
