I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I believe in your delicious
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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