So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
