maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
