People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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