the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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