we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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