I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We are two peas in an std pod
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
