Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
