Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
there's paper in my vomit.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
