You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
