Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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