We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Holy shit dude........stairs
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize