I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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