Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize