He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize