covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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