Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
