For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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