dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
