your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
my god I love twenty year old dicks
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
