Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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