I hate all girls vehemently.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
