I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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