is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
