It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
