I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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