you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
