If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just googled if crying burns calories
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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