Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
