After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
