I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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